with love

Fuck

And just when I start being ok..I finally realized that maybe this decision was good for us…. This happened..

In all honesty I’m so glad it did because I thought I was the only one feeling the way I did but why? I can’t but help but be so confused and torn in wtf to feel… I honestlyyy don’t know how to feel :( and it fckin sucks cuz it’s everything that I hoped for yet then again it’s not.. *sighhh idk what to say or what to do i honestly think its just the alcohol speaking so I’m gonna keep thinking that… It’s the only way to keep me sane.. #guardsup #indenial 😔

(via kushandwizdom)

Hmm

&right when things start to get easier (or so I think) they just get harder .. Sometimes I wish I was able to suppress things.. But at least im getting better

i promise i will make it to you one day<3 

(via thesexkitten)

!!!!

its taking every bit of strength in me to not text/email/call you…I wish i could, but truth is I’m scared you won’t answer…that or I’m dumb if i do..everyones telling me to let it be but I cant sometimes…why must things be so hard :/ 

(via hellyeahitsrandom)

The first step in conquering your fear is taking the risk to fall..I know this was more of a stunt/thrill seeker thing, but it truly made me realize the meaning behind this quote..NOT that i have a fear of heights or anything but other fears that i had or well still have..I’ve been going through A LOT lately and my heart hasn’t been the same..BUT standing 130 feet above hundreds of people and looking as far as my eye could reach over the city of oxnard never felt so comforting. I felt free. For once in my life i controlled when i wanted to fall..Most of the times you just do and i guess its why its more genuine and true, but sometimes it helps in choosing when the moment is right for you..and i had to fall from 130ft bungee to realize that..Im going through heart break, but everyday that passes is another day closer in being better..I will always love you, and as much as i want us to be again timing does have to be right..I cant push anymore, I’ve fought and I’ve tried..i took the fall i risked it all..and like the jump its been one of the most exhilarating things i ever went through..and id gladly do it again for you<3 I will always love you and i hope your doing well its been 8 days since we’ve spoke and although its killing me..just know that I’m here when your ready to talk…

(Source: staypozitive)

Eat good drink good ;) (Taken with instagram)

😔

Slowly tearing myself.. Idk how to take it any more..just when i think I’m fine there’s always something in me that pulls me back down..I can’t force my self to stop loving, I can’t force myself to not care, I can force myself to leave..even tho I know its what I have to do..I miss everything

!!…

&if you really want me to do what you want me to do then trussssst I’ll do it..ill give you what you want but know im gonna do it like I always have before buttt 10xs harder.. “ya we divas but we ride like big boys do” my broken heart will be the motivation 👌I’ll make sure of it..

Like a real show stopper!!

(Source: lovequotesrus)

(Source: staypozitive)